Well all I choose to share publicly on my blog is this: A week and a half ago I learned WHY I have had my preemies. I did not expect to learn it how I did and I cannot believe that I actually know. After all this time. With that, I learned I am lucky I have ANY children at all. Could things have been different had I learned of this news before? Maybe. Could I have maybe done something about this to maybe have full children- maybe, but in so doing might have caused worse problems. All I know is this- everything happens for a reason. I was supposed to have every one of my children exactly the way I had them. It has been hard. The hardest thing I have ever done is watch my babies suffer in the NICU and not know if they were going to make it from time to time. But I am so grateful to have them. And even more grateful to have them knowing what I know now.
I am trying hard not to take all this for granted anymore. Thank heavens we live in a time where my children have LIVED. And thank heavens for the Lord blessing me with the answer to my 6 year long prayers of why do I have premature children. The Lord is surely watching out for me and surely loves me and my children. I am so, so grateful.
