Thursday, October 27, 2011


When I finally get the chance to finish writing the birth story, you will hear all about my mom being here for some of my hospital bed rest and for the birth of our little babe. This post is about the amazing family I have and the timing of my little sister being here. A few months into my pregnancy, my little sister told me she wanted to come when I am on serious bed rest and will need serious help. I did not argue with her. Over the next month or so we talked about dates and times and waited for a good airline deal. She booked it for last week (which would have put me at 28 weeks pregnant) and we were good to go. When I ended up going on bed rest sooner, then in the hospital, she offered several times to change her flight and come see me sooner. I don't know WHY, but I strongly felt that she should keep the original date. Ever time I thought about it, I felt the same way. So we kept the date, and I know now WHY I felt that way.

She ended up coming a few days after Paxton had to be transfered to primary children's hospital for some kidney worries. It was a very emotional time for me- a time when I needed to have someone to vent to (besides my sweet husband who always gets vented to), someone to go with me to the hospital, someone to help me with the kids, etc. And she did just that!! PLUS she fixed my hair and makeup, gave me a pedicure, swept and mopped and vacummed and did just about everything I couldn't do this week! (Don't let me forget to add, vacummed and cleaned my disgusting neglected car!!) It was an answer to my prayers, truly.

She also happens to be VERY good at taking pictures...check out this amazing photo she took- look at the details of little Paxton's hand. Amazing.

This was our last night together before she had to fly home...we spent it with little Paxton at the hospital and had the nurse take a picture of us...can you tell we were pretty worn out that day? (okay, my little sis still looks amazing...but I was....well...not so much)

My computer was having problems, I flipped this picture like a million times...sooo, anyways, its us looking through to little Paxton.

All in all, it was a great week that went by so fast and I am so incredibly grateful to have such a great support system from my family. One phone call from any one of my family always makes my day- I know that at any time, any one of them would drop everything to help one of us out. I am so lucky to be part of such a great family! Thank you to my sweet sister for coming and taking the time to take care of me and my family!! Did I mention she has an 8 month old? Yes, she is amazing. Love you sis! (P.S.- Bekah, you can put pics up on your blog now if you want ;))

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Our New Life

I don't feel comfortable posting a ton of pics on facebook, especially because I know that not everyone can handle seeing a little tiny baby hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires, etc. But I want show off my sweet adorable baby!! So here are just a few of my favorites ;) My sister took some of me visiting with Paxton a few days here I am looking in on him in his bed (PS-Thanks to my awesome sister for pampering me and doing my hair!)

The vent giving him oxygen, along with a feeding tube.
His diapers look like small maxi pads. Seriously.

His cheek kinda swollen from the tape they had taken off. Poor little guy.

Here's him kinda swollen and hooked up to the billie ruben lights.

Here I think he looks exactly like Brayden! He looks big in this picture up close, but if you want to get an idea of his size...his head is about the size of my fist. His hand is about the size of the middle of my knuckle to my fingernail. He is so tiny and fragile and yet so strong already.

This is my absolute favorite! He loves having a little warm onsie on his head for some crazy reason, and the second I started talking to him, he opened his eyes for me. It was so sweet. I loved it and love having pictures of it. All in all, we are so grateful he is as healthy and strong as he is. He is such a sweet boy already- and has quite the attitude (which terrifies me!) but we are so glad he is a fighter! Keep the prayers coming, as he has had some major difficulties this week. But he is doing better...two steps forward, five steps back.

Friday, October 14, 2011


I am in the middle of writing Paxton's Birth story. It is a LOOOONG story. So many details starting from bed rest on. So I am taking a break and just writing a little update to say I am ALIVE. Barely. Up until yesterday, my kids, hubby and I were getting used to our new life. Every morning I get up, get the kids and myself ready, take the kids to school, drop Keaton off at a friends house to play, and then I am off to the NICU. I visit with Paxton, get the update on Paxton during rounds (when all the doctors get together at once to talk about the babies in the NICU) and discuss the plans for that day with the doctors and nurse. I make it home just in time to either be there when carpool brings Brayden home, or am there to pick him up myself. I then get Keaton, we eat lunch together at home and have a normal day. I am there for both Kyler and Brayden when they get home from school. We do homework, we do chores, we have a normal life. I then go up to the NICU after the kids are in bed and Cort goes up on his lunch break at work. Our kids at home have a mostly normal life and Paxton gets 2-3 visits a day. We can't hold him yet. We can touch him here and there, but the less the stimulation, the better. So we are happy with things.

And then there are some concerns that send him to Primary Childrens. It is one of the best hospitals in the world (in the top 10, I believe). They are a great hospital. They just do things completely different. And so we are starting over. Meeting new doctors and nurses, and residents and they are over-crowded. And Paxton is the least of their concerns as far sick babies go, because he is mostly healthy and only fighting things that kind of come with prematurity. I know, I know. They ARE concerned. They do care. It's just hard. It's sooooooooo different. The way things are communicated is so different. Today I practically had to fight to get some answers. Once I got the answers, everything was fine. I just needed someone to communicate with me!! Someone of authority, who knows what they are doing!

Anyways, so that's our new life. We are waiting every day to see how things progress. I am at my house, leaving a sweet baby behind in the care of someone else. That is HARD. I feel so helpless as a mother. In some ways, I have been able to let things go this time. There is so much that is out of my control that I have to let some things go. And I can't drive myself crazy with worry until I have a reason to. So we are taking things one day at a time.

And other than yesterday and today, life is slowly getting back together piece by piece, as much as it can be considering we have a baby in the NICU. We have been brought meal after meal, had our kids taken care of by various friends/family members/neighbors. We have had so much support, so many prayers. We can feel them. We know that the miracles that have already happened, have happened because of the faith of those around us. We are so eternally grateful.