Friday, March 30, 2012


My sister came a week after Paxton came home from the hospital, and it could not have been a better time. Honestly, I cried the whole way home from the airport after I took her (for her to go home) because I don't know how I would have survived that week without her help. She cooked, cleaned, helped with homework, helped the kids and held and took care of Paxton. It was awesome. PLUS, Paxton got really congested that week and I was so worried about every little thing- she was a great sounding board for my worries and helped me figure out the best ways to help him, the things I really need to freak out about and helped me relax and just take things one day at a time. My kids loved every minute of it and so did I! And so did Paxton!Just look at how my kids are crowded around her- I LOVE when they do that!
Um...well Paxton wasn't too happy mainly because he wanted to be cuddled and not faced out, and hes just kind of a crier. BUT as you can see, all the kids had a great time!I am truly blessed to have wonderful sisters. I know not everyone is so lucky. I am. I don't ever want to take it for grated either!Paxton sure loves my sis. Seriously- she could get him to do things that he doesn't do for anyone but was awesome. He just folded up into her arms and it was awesome. He misses her...and of course, obviously, I really REALLY miss her already!!
I came to the conclusion on Saturday that I either need to hire a maid, a cook and a nanny...or I just need to have my sister come back and take care of us again!! Thanks again Sarah for helping out so much, especially at such a critical time! LOVE YOU!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Personal Challenge, Days 1 and 2

So I typically don't lose weight with nursing. I just don't. I can work out 6 days a week, doesn't matter. But that has never stopped me from trying- I always do whatever I can...and once I am done nursing, the weight really does usually come off pretty fast after that. But this baby, this time, I have lost slightly more than I have with any other baby while nursing. I still have a long ways to go- and some days I look in the mirror and think I am bigger than ever. But no matter what, I have not had the time or energy to even try to lose weight. I have lots of good excuses. Especially before my baby was home and I was a crazed mad woman back and forth in the NICU.
Now I am a crazed mad woman whose baby likes to be held A LOT. And because he is on oxygen and hooked up to a monitor, I cant just cart him around the house with me. And he is up a lot in the night. More than any baby I have ever had!! So I am exhausted. Trying to meet the needs of all my kids AND keep up with the house (which is not happening, by the way) AND be a decent wife AND AND AND, ETC ETC ETC. I have pretty much no time for anything.
So as I made my plan on Sunday to start my offical healthy living/trying to work out again starting Monday...I got pumped up. And then as yesterday came and I had not a moment where I could put the baby down and barely made it the grocery store to get groceries and made it home just in time to feed the baby and go to bed...well, I made a new plan.
The biggest focus for me right now will be staying as active as I can around the house, working out here and there as much as I can. It IS a priority, but I am also realistic that it might simply be impossible some days. And now that the weather is getting warmer, working out might be taking the baby in the jogging stroller. So.... my main focus will be on what I eat. I can control that no matter what. Yesterday was good, no late night snacks and pretty healthy eating all day. So today I am really focused on lowering my portions (I know, I am nursing, I am not going crazy here, but I can definetly eat less and be provide for my baby). I can add better foods into my diet and drink more water. I can start to eat like I did before pregancy. I used to feel SO good. And I know I can get back to that. So today is day 2. It would be nice, of course, if I could lose weight while I am still nursing. But more than anything, at this point, I want to start having more energy and feeling good (as much energy as one can while being up all night with a baby...hmmmm?). So here goes!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Paxton IS home

Wow- where do I even begin?! Paxton is home! FINALLY! After 149 days in the NICU...multiple procedures, multiple blood transfusions, pokes, prods and everything in between- HE IS HOME! It has been just over 2 weeks and I still can't believe it some days. I have actually thought to pick up the phone a few times to call Paxton's nurse to check on him. Its unreal.

This was one of my favorite nurses, Vickie. Just look at how Paxton is looking at her, so sweet! This was just before we took him home.

This is Paxton's medications. Yeah, I don't share on my blog the issues Paxton has had, but pretty much all these help with one main issue. We are so grateful for modern medicine to keep our little man healthy. But I am not going to lie- this is a lot!!
Paxton's Grandma Sue holding him the day he came home. Keaton wanted to jump in the picture as well.

This was him in the carseat for the first time!

Paxton's brothers have done surprisingly well with him being home. I honestly was worried the most about Keaton...and while he has been a little more rowdy than usual, he really has adjusted better than I thought he would. Clearly- they all love Paxton!

Brayden was so excited to hold him! After all, Paxton is his clone!Here is how we spend many Sunday afternoons...I nap upstairs and Cortney and Paxton nap downstairs. All in all- life is a lot crazier than I imagined it would be. Because of the few issues Paxton has, he has some discomfort. He likes to be held a lot, and the maintenance with the medicine is a little harder than I imagined it would be. Don't get me wrong- I am NOT complaining one bit. I could not be more grateful to have this baby home- after 5 months in the NICU! But I will admit that whether it be having 4 kids at home or whether it be having a baby with extra special needs, it is hard! And sleep...well what is that anyways? I can't remember what that was like. But it is all worth it!! I am so incredibly grateful to everyone for the warm thoughts, prayers, dinners, babysitting, putting our name and Paxton's name in the temple, the doctors, nurses, caregivers of paxton, all the family and friends support...everything! Our little babe would not be alive would it have not been for this time that we live in with modern medicine and new technology! I am so grateful to my Lord and Savior for this wonderful blessing in our lives.