Sunday, March 24, 2013

Kyler is 9!

A week before Kyler's 9th Birthday was the Pinewoo Derby.  Klyer did an awesme job with his car (with a little help from mom and dad too) and we had a really fun time as a family.  Kyler's car was 5th place- not bad!
 Here's the sweet boy posing with his car and ribbon.

 Kyler woke up the morning of his 9th birthday and WOKE me up!  Paxton had been up sick in the night and as a result, Paxton slept in, which meant I slept in.  So waking up 45 minutes late put us all in a frenzie!  I quickly made Kyler a birthday breakfast of waffles with fresh fruit and whipped cream.  I then tld him to get back in bed so I can offically bring him breakfast in bed.  He thought it was so fun. (this is a new tradition I am starting with the kids on their birthdays, but the goal really is to bring them breakfast BEFORE they wake up!) ;) 
 We had a small family party for Kyler that night with Cort's parents and us.  So this is him opening presents.

I seriously cannot believe I had a 9 year old!  It is amazing to think of all the many experiences we have had with this sweet boy in our lives!  He is funny, sweet, kind, handsome, and such a unique personality.  We love him and love having him in our home.  He is my oldest son.  He had a great birthday and we loved celebrating with him!

Christmas 2012

Well this Christmas was very special for our family.  It was our first Christmas AT HOME together as a complete family.  Last year Paxton was in the NICU, so this year just seemed so special.  It was so wonderful!  It was so great.  The kids really got into it and understood more and the entire day was happy.  These pictures are out of order, actually they are in complete reverse order of how the events actually happened.
One of the favorite gifts of the day was a cute spiderman-gun game that we put on Kylers door.  He played with it for over an hour on Christmas day!
  Brayden building a lego set.  It was legos all day long for him.
 Kyler with one of his favorite gifts- a "trash pack"...
 The kids on Christmas morning before they went excited!  In their new Angry Birds pajamas, I might add. :)
 For Keatons school Christmas performance, Santa came.  It was so cute to see the kids sitting on his lap. 

 Keaton with one of his teachers.
 Keaton with his other teacher.
 Keaton and Santa. 
 With every school performance, Keatons teachers always have a parade so every kid can see their parents and feel the spot light.  So this is Keaton marching!
 When Santa entered he room...
 Keaton singing!

All in all it was a wonderful Holiday and by far our best Christmas as a family EVER! 

Monday, January 28, 2013


I'm alive and want to blog.  Really, I do!  Life has been so CRAZY that I feel like how can I sit down and blog when my house is a mess and my kids are sick, etc.???
But I wanted to post something quick tonight because tonight I felt so excited and happy about life.
I thought to myself, you know, life is hard.  Like, realllllly hard.  BUT life is also so wonderful.  I was looking in on my sleeping children and thinking how lucky I am to have 4 sleeping, beautiful wonderful relatively healthy children!  How lucky am I to have a beautiful home, warm bed, loving husband and a great family.  Last weekend I had some family in town for my Grandmother's funeral (I will have to post about that later).  I never thought I would have so many family members in my house at the same time.  It was WONDERFUL!  I could have sat on my couch doing nothing with them and it would have just been wonderful.  Family is the most important thing.  And as I at times feel sorry for myself and how hard things can be with Paxton, I think how lucky I am to HAVE HIM.  How lucky to see his cute little smile at me, even when he is sick.  We truly are blessed in this life.  And I am grateful. 
More later.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A little out of sorts

So these pictures are out of order.  I am WAY behind on blogging and my life is a little out of sorts.  But here I am, in the waiting room of Primary Childrens just waiting for time to pass until I can see my little man!  So, I shall blog!
Let us start with Paxton being 1 and being amazing!  He has really been growing and progressing how he should lately...he is healthy and HAPPY and OFF Oxygen!!  So many wonderful changes. 
 This is my sweet angel- my favorite picture!!
 I love this because it shows his curious face...what is this thing in my face mom?  Is it the camera again? 
 This shows how much poop I get to clean up every day.  Cause almost every day, when Paxton is in the exercauser, he works something out of his diaper.  His diapers fit, trust me, I have tried everything and we have finally figured out a way to get him to stop pooping down his legs- but when he does, its just so gross!!
 See?  I walked by the exercauser and this is what I see...EWWWWWWWWWWWWw!
 I know it's late to be posting the kids First Day of School Pics, but I just had to!  They are all getting so big!  Keaton started Preschool this year and loves it!  He especially loves to sing.
 Brayden is in 1st Grade, doing really well and loves that he gets several recesses every day.
 Kyler loves third grade and loves his teacher this year as well.  He loves earning points/fake money for "store" and every Friday shows us what he has bought. 
 It's hard to get three boys all focused at the same time, but at least they are all cute!
 Every year we go to a friend's Halloween party and it is a MUST to dress up.  This year Cort had the clever idea to be Richard Simmons!  So he went to DI and grabbed some shorty shorts.  I went to Walmart, saw this sparkly top and said "this is it!!" When Cort tried it on for the first time at home, we both knew it was magical!! ;) 
 And finally, this last weekend we took a good 10 minutes of family pictures.  I am not really in love with them mainly because it was really hard to get Paxton to even look up (although he does look super cute, doesn't he???) and I look so FATTTTTTTTTTT.  But, this is all of us together, and that means a lot to me.  So it will do for now.  I love my family!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Done, Done and DONE!!

It was a few days short of 11 months of Pumping and I am DONE!  DONE DONE DONE DONE!  This hospital grade breast pump was great and served it's purpose.  And my little lad will still have my milk for another month or two, but oh let me tell you how FREE and wonderful it has felt to be done- not to mention the extra time I have now.  Anyways, I am done.  And I couldn't be happier about it!  DONE!!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Catching Up

I have a LOT of catch up to do, so let's back up and start with Keaton's Birthday.  The DAY of Keaton's birthday AND birthday party, the poor kid woke up with croupe.  I felt so bad for him...being sick on his birthday and having to postpone his party- BUT since he is so little we just kinda shifted things so he didn't really know what he was missing and just talked about his party being a few days later.  Unfrotunetly by the time he was better, we were back in the hospital with Paxton having another UTI.  When we got home and both boys were recovered, we threw Keaton his long awaited Spiderman party.
Keaton wanted a water party AND a spiderman party.  He insisted on a spiderman cake.  I *tried* to get him to want cupcakes.  But the thing about that kid, and one of his very cute and also very hard qualities is that he is independent and knows what he wants.  So my little Keaton turned the big 4.  Can't hardly believe it!!
Here's his cake...I think it turned out pretty well if I do say so myself!
 Doesn't he even look older to you?!!!
 A few of his cute friends for a little backyard party...
 We set up a little pool, a slip n slide, had some water balloons and also put the hose down the slide and it was a BLAST! 
 It's funny cause a lot of the kids ran down the slip n slide jumping in some of the puddles rather than sliding down it.  But no matter what, they ALL loved it!!
 Keaton's big present from us was a bike with training wheels and a helmet.  He LOVED it!! 
 We took him out front and he seriously just took off and never looked back.  He rides it almost every day!
Keaton is a very sweet and loving child.  He is the most polite 4 year old you could ever meet!  He ALWAYS says please and thank you, he compliments people all the time (like telling some of my friends they look pretty or are wearing a pretty dress or something amazing like that), he is very nice to strangers and plays well with everyone!  He loves his brothers, loves his BYU blanket and spideman backpack.  He loves running errands with me and is always, ALWAYS hungry!  I love that kid and am always amazed at how smart he is.  Love my 4 year old boy!

Monday, August 6, 2012

More Miracles

This post is LONG, but I wanted to document this experience in my journal and did not want to forget a single for those of you wanting to hear the entire story behind Paxton's surgery, here you go!
Well, Paxton's surgery did not go as planned.  I woke up at 4:45 Wednesday morning to give Paxton an extra feeding before he had to go without food (starting at 5am).  I couldn't fall back asleep.  I laid in bed, looking at him sleeping.  And then I prayed.  I prayed so hard that the doctors would know the best way to help Paxton.  I prayed that all would go well with his surgery and that we would be comforted.  And then I slowly drifted to sleep for all of 5 minutes when my alarm went off (at 5:45) to get up and give Paxton his medicines, pump, get ready and head to the hospital.  We got there, checked in and then Cortney met us (since he styaed behind a little to help get the kids ready before a neighbor came over to watch them- THANK goodness for wonderful neighbors!).  The doctors and nurses then came in to do their assessments and talk with us.  Then came the anesthesiologist who went over all the details of sedating Paxton and intubating him so he will be completely safe during surgery.  Paxton has gone through this, unfortunetly, MANY times before.  Then we walked him down the hall where we had to hand him over and go to the waiting room.  I *hate* that part.  Cort and I went and checked in the waiting room, then went to get breakfast and check our e-mails.  When we walked back into the waiting room, roughly 30 minues later, the receptionist said the doctor needed to talk to us.  She told us everything was fine and Paxton was fine, he just had a simple question for us.  Okay.  So she called him back to let us know we were back in the waiting room.  2 minutes later, Dr. Snow, Paxton's urologist and person performing the surgery takes us to a private room to talk.  He starts with telling us that Paxton was very difficult to sedate.  He said Paxton was restless and waking up and difficult, which is not typical for him.  Then he said the anesthesiologist was having trouble intubating him.  She tried 3 different times with 3 different size tubes and finally got it to work, but Paxton was struggling with his saturations.  On a breathing machine?  What?  The doctors were concerned, and the anesthesiologist was especially concerned.  How could so many things be going wrong.  This must not be right, they all concured.  Maybe Paxton is coming down with a cold and his throat and pathway is swollen?  Maybe there is something else going on?  Either way, nobody felt right about proceeding.  So at this point, there was another small procedure they were doing on Paxton while he was there and they went ahead and did that because he was sedated enough and didn't need to be intubated for that.  He was going to go to recovery, then the doctor wanted us to follow up with an ENT to see if there is something going on that would prevent Paxton from being intubated.  He needs the surgery, and as soon as possible, but he needs to be able to handle it and handle sedation and intubation without any problems.  So he told us to wait until they take him to recovery, we can see him then take him home for follow up with ENT. 
  Now to say we were disappointed would be an understatement.  Cortney and I were soooooooooooo disappointed, discouraged and frustrated.  This surgery was the beginning of Paxton not being sick anymore.  Not having to take 10 different medications every day, not having an ng tube for those medications...not to mention Paxton would not be getting sick with UTI's anymore or be in any more pain. I mean really, I felt like this was the beginning of him being able to be a pain-free regular baby...and by regular I mean not having to focus on getting multiple things in his body to work right.  He should be able to just be a baby!!!  BUT at this same time, Cortney and I both felt that because so many prayers were being spoken in our behalf, that this must have been the right choice.  We called our families and waited.  I had to pump, so I left for about 20 minutes and while I was gone, they came and got Cort because Paxton was ready to be seen, but only one parent could go in at a time.  Lucky for him to be the first one!  So when I got back, I impatiently waited.  When he came back, he said that Paxton was bleeding really badly from the proceedure they had done and that the doctor is coming back in to stitch him up a little.  He also told me that the anesthesiologist came to speak with him and told him a few more details about why they did not do the surgery.  She told him that one thing after another seemed to go wrong. She explained how they NEVER (well, hardly ever) cancel is a big deal to do so.  She said that the tube that she was finally able to get down Paxton was meant for a 6 pound baby!  And that air only seemed to be getting to the top of his lungs, but not all throughout.  Then Cortney had tears is his eyes as he told me that she said "something told me to stop, that this wasn't right."  I felt immedietly this overwhelming feeling that stopping this procedure literally saved Paxton's life.  As disappointed as I was, I was so grateful that she listened to that voice and stopped!  The urologist and resident doctor (who have been working with Paxton from the beginning) both said they felt that things weren't right and when they all talked together, it was overwhelming that everybody felt the same way.  Wow.  So I tried to see Paxton after this conversation with Cortney (he had come out so I could go in) but when I walked into the room, everyone quickly shooed me out.  Paxton was screaming and there were nurses/doctors all around him and they were saying that they needed to sedate him again, take care of the bleeding and it would be best if I weren't there.  I am glad because hearing Paxton scream like that, of course I burst into tears as I left.
   About 15 minutes later, the doctors came back into the room to tell us that he had a clot that had stuck to the incision of the procedure they had done and though they thought he was sealed, once they wiped the clot he started gushing blood again.  So they stitched that area and the bleeding had stopped and Paxton was fine.  However, he had lost quite a bit of blood, so they wanted to check his levels to see if he might need a tranfusion. Finally I got to go back and see him and by this point he was sedated and VERY pale.  He was so weak and it broke my heart.  I was just sad.  Sad that this was what it came to for him, without even having the surgery he was supposed to be having!  His first set of blood levels came back and he was really low, but they wanted to wait a few hours and check again to see if they would go up on their own without a transfusion.  So we we waited, and this is the point where reality really clicked in for what could have happened to Paxton.  The anesthesiologist came in to talk to me.  She told me basically the same thing she had told Cortney.  She told me that it seemed like so many things were going wrong that don't typically go wrong and that she never cancels surgeries like this.  She said similar things have happened before, but usually they can be fixed and then they moved forward.  Then she looked into my eyes and said, "I know this sounds crazy, but I think God told me to stop." She followed that with the fact that she was so worried about Paxton and thinks that maybe the fact that he lost so much blood from his other procedure means he would have bled too much in his major surgery, causing the unthinkable. 
   My heart was overwhelmed.  She DID save Paxton's life in my eyes by listening to that voice!!  I knew all the prayers that have been poured out to our family, all the different temples our names have been put in (so many people have told me they have done so!), all the fasting and well wishes and thoughts for us were the reason those doctors chose to stop the surgery!  I am SOOO grateful.
  So after the 2nd set of blood work came back, his levels had gone down even more and there was no question he needed a transfusion.  It is amazing how halfway into the transfusion Paxton's coloring came back and he was sleeping more comfortably.  I was so relieved.  In the morning I made an appointment with the ENT for Thursday, the soonest available and we packed up and headed home.  Paxton has still had some pain from his other procedure and has been fussy, but is mostly himself and we are so glad that he is WHO HE IS.  I was thinking about how particular Paxton is and the Urologist and his Resident, both whom we love, have said so many times that Paxton truly runs the show and does things differently than any other child under the same circumstances....which makes things both difficult, but also thats what makes him extra special.  And I can't help but think how Heavenly Father knows each individual person and their needs and how lucky we are that he knows Paxton and could help him through this difficult situation.
  So now we still have a PICC line, he will continue to have it until they decide when something else will be done. We see the ENT on Thursday and we will go from there.  I am SO glad last week is over, so overwhelmed with gratitude for this precious gift we have and just grateful for life.  A special thanks to all those who helped us get through this week- from babysitting, to meals, to prayers, to more of all that!  We could not have gotten through this without your help.  Thank you, thank you and God Bless!