Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Perspective...during the best day EVER!

During my pregnancy, a friend of mine posted a video of her babies birth story. Nothing graphic, but you could see right after the baby was born, they placed the baby on her stomach and then she held him. While I watched this, I cried and CRIED because I wanted nothing more than to be able to do the same thing. I haven't been able to with any of my kids other than my first. It was honestly heartbreaking in many ways- something so simple that I wanted SO.BAD. After I had Paxton, obviously I knew that wasn't going to happen. Instead of letting myself get worked up over things like that this time around, I have learned I have to let a lot of it go. I can't change things right now. So much of my life is out of my control, so I accept it and move on. With that being said, I look forward to things as they come up, but don't expect them until they are THERE. So yesterday I was in during my morning visit with Paxton and the doctors came by and did their rounds. At the end, I asked my usual questions and then ended with asking the doctor when they thought Paxton was stable enough to be held. I added that I didn't want to push it if he wasn't ready, but I wanted them to know that I wanted to hold him when I was allowed to. He then replied that Paxton has been really strong the past few days and that the best time was right then because he may have a few bad days again sometime soon. He then told the nurses to get things ready.

I couldn't believe it. My eyes filled with tears and I was overwhelmed with excitement, joy, nervousness and every emotion I could think of all at once. The doctor came and gave me a big bear hug and the nurses got to work!!

Skin to skin is best for the little ones, so skin to skin it is!

This was them placing him on me for the first time...5 weeks and 6 days old.

Getting all the cords, tubes, wires, etc. situated. Notice his little diaper! Notice how tiny he looks up against me! Sure puts how little he is into perspective once I was holding him.
Putting warm blankets on him. Even with the blankets, he weighed basically nothing!

Wearing a mask just to be safe...

My little peanut...on my chest..on ME! He is MY sweet baby!

I held him for an hour and he did amazing.

In fact, when they put him back, he did not like it.

Apparently, he still wanted his mama. It was so wonderful. I was so sad to put him back and leave him, but am holding on to the next moment when I can hold him again!!


Tracey said...

That is so cool! I am glad that you got to hold him and that he didn't like being taken away. We love you and pray for your family every day.

Angels said...

Though it was such hard situation, now your kids are the greatest happiness! You are very brave, be happy!

Sarah said...

What a beautiful moment. How wonderful. ::Sniff sniff::

clarisa said...

how sweet! i'm glad someone took the pics for you! love, love it that you got to hold him.

beckaboots said...

So precious! I'm so glad you got pictures! :)

annieareyouok said...

He is so sweet! What great pictures to have of the two of you.

Michelene said...

Those are such sweet pictures. You can tell he has grown. I'm glad you could have that moment.