Sad Mama

Everything about Hawaii was great...except knowing that anything could happen with the kids while we were gone can always be unsettling. We learned Keaton was sick while we were gone, but had no idea the extent of his sickness until the day we were flying from Hawaii to Phoenix...

Cort's mom called us (his parents watched the kids while we were gone, stayed in our house, etc. It was great for the kids!) Tuesday morning and let us know that she was going to take Keaton to the doctor because he just wasnt getting better. When she got to the doctors office, they tested Keatons oxygen level, because he was wheezing really bad, and it was 75!!! It should have been at least 95! They took it again in disbelief and got an 84, which was better, but seriously bad at the same time. The doctor get her the option of driving him to hospital immedietly or calling an ambulance. Sue didn't have the other boys with her and took him straight to Primary Childrens where the doctor had already called and prepped them for his arrival.

We got the news when we were returning our rental car. I was so discouraged to say the least. I felt so completely helpless as a mother. I had similar feelings to when Keaton was in the NICU as a baby and I could not do anything to help him. I felt so completely far away (which I guess I was) and Cort's mom promised to call us with any new news here and there.

So Keaton was admitted, put on oxygen, getting his nose sucked every 2 hours to help him breathe. Cort's Dad and brother gave him a blessing and that really helped me during the flight to feel the power of the priesthood taking over to help Keaton. He has had many blessings in his life, something I am sooooo grateful for!

The next day, Wednesday, Cort and I made the trip from Phoenix to Utah. it was so difficult to concenrate on anything but Keaton. We knew he was where he needed to be, and that he was getting 100% love from his grandparents. But as a mother, is was heartbreaking not being there.

We got home at 7:45pm, I was on the road to the hospital with a bag packed by 8, having made arrangements for the older boys for the next day.

When I saw Keaton...I cannot even describe it. He looked like he had lost weight (and he is soooo little to begin with!). His eyes looked sunken and heavy, he sounded and looked terrible. I burst into tears. He looked at me strange for a few minutes, while being held by his Grandpa. Then he smiled and came to me and my heart melted. I held him all night, with the exception of a stretch from 2-6 where I got to actually sleep...somewhat. I have been holding him pretty much since.

He was released last night late. He is still REALLY sick, but the need for the hospital is over. He doesnt need the deep suction anymore. he is still on oxygen, going in the doctors office every day for an oxygen level check, suctioning and his overall well check. He is not drinking or eating as usual, but is getting better every day.

I want to express a special, special thank you for everyones prayers and help! Help with my kids while I was at the hospital, calls, dinners, offer for dinners. Its one thing to have a baby in the hospital, its another thing to have a baby in the hospital with kids at home! It has been so nice to feel all the love from everyone! So again, thank you!

And since I had my camera with me...a few pics of my sweet boy!

And just because Keaton is...well...Keaton... he gave the nurses a wonderful time while they were trying to put oxygen on him (so I was told). And by wonderful, I really meant terrible! My boy is such a fighter!! ;)