Body Image...and all that jazz

When I learned I was pregnant this time around, I must admit that I was sad about what was going to happen to my body. Don't get me wrong...pregnancy is a beautiful, amazing thing. And everything is worth it. Buuuut, as I have said before, I am not one of those women who just grows a baby in my belly. I fill out everywhere. And I do mean, EVERYWHERE. Even my feet get bigger! When I was pregnant with Brayden (boy #2), I worked out for the first few months. For me, didn't matter. I mean, sure, it helped keep up my energy and I am sure helped with toning. But I still gained the same amount of weight and still gained it everywhere and not just in my cute little tummy.

So as I was saying, when I learned I was pregnant with this little nugget, I went through some terrible body image issues. I had literally in the weekes before FINALLY hit my goal of where I wanted to be with my body. I was feeling so good about myself. I was confident. I was happy and content. And I knew that was all going to change. ESPECIALLY since I cannot work out with my current and last pregnancy. And especially because I had never worked so hard in my life to lose the weight I had lost. And I am going to have to do it again.

And of course, there is nothing wrong with being whatever size I am or whatever size anyone else is. Why do I have so much trouble when viewing myself when I could care less about whatever shape or size someone else is? I think all women, no matter shape, size, color, hair color, etc. are beautiful. Everything we go through makes us beautiful. If you are bigger, you are bigger. If you are smaller, you are smaller. I have always felt that if you are unhappy with yourself, you work on it and try your best. If you are doing that, accept yourself. Everyone is different and I have always embraced that and loved that about everyone...except myself. Why? I suppose for lots of reasons. But with pregnancy, I definetly need to get over it!

So with time, I have realized that it is out of my hands. No, I am not going to use pregnancy as an excuse to pig out as much as I want. I am still trying to be sensible. But, it really is out of my control how my body is going to grow babies. If I am going to gain weight everywhere, why go around feeling terrible about myself every time I look in the mirror? Is that honestly going to help me at all?

I must do the best with what I have and embrace my curves! ;) So up until now...I have not wanted to post pictures of myself. In fact, this whole pregnancy I have had issues with it...but why? What good is it doing me other than making me feel even worse?

We as women are blessed to be able to even carry babies (those of us who are able to)...we are lucky to experience pregnancy, childbirth and many other wonderful things. If that means gaining 45 pounds in 7 months (hopefully this time I can make it to 9 months!), then so be it. And if I have to go through all I go through to grow a miracle, then it is worth it!

There! I feel better! Sooooo...here is ME at 23 weeks along with baby boy #4

And you will pretty much always see me in flip flops. Just saying...