Saturday, August 14, 2010

Motherhood

The days of summer are nearing an end. And at the end of this day, today, I could not be MORE ready. I am sorry, but I am not one of those mom's who cries when my first child went off to kindergarden. Yes, it scared me. Yes, I missed him during the day. Yes it was a huge step in growing up and it DID make me sad. But have you met MY boys??? My boys fight. Like literally 75% of every day is the competetive boy fighting. And I can't take it anymore! I just can't. So when Kyler went off to Kindergarden, it provided the perfect break for him and Brayden. They were apart enough that they played nicely a lot of the time they were together after. Not always, but a lot more than before. So this summer has been killing me. I mean, I try not to yell. I really do try! Honestly, despite those of you who have heard me!!
I don't know what it is, but today has nearly killed me. Seriously. I'm going to go to bed to die right now. I woke up around 3:30 this morning restless. I was hot. I couldn't get comfortable so I went downstairs on the couch because it's leather and cold! It felt nice. I fell asleep quickly and woke up at 6:30 to Keaton crying. Not good. For one, Keaton wakes up happy and talking. For 2, it's an hour earlier than he's been waking up AND he went to bed an hour and a half late the night before. Okay, its going to be one of those days. I lay down with him in my bed. He looks over, points at Cortney and says "Dadda" several times. Okay, not going to be quiet...so downstairs we go. To the couch. (normally, we go right to the booster seat for breakfast). I break out a bag of cereal (a ziploc filled with some cheerios), turn on cartoons and let Keaton eat on the couch. Yes, this is against my rules. I did not care this morning. I was so tired. And sore (Did I mention I have been doing Zumba and that combined with my other workouts is kicking my trash and I am so sore). So I was tired, and sore. And sore and tired. Keaton was great and I rested. Then Brayden came trickling down and Kyler too. We got up and had breakfast and got ready. We went to a yard sale (Me with the boys cause Cort was golfing today...Yes, I am nice wife). The boys were terrible at the yard sale. I had to actually put Kyler in time out by a tree while I was there...twice. Yup. And I was there for like 15 minutes, but it would have been less if I did not have to stop so many times to deal with Kyler. Anyways. So then we go home. I work out, which helps me feel better. I shower, get ready, the boys do chores and things are going smoothly. When Cort got home I ran some errands. (Have you ever left and ran errands thinking you were getting a break from the kids, etc. only to realize you have so much you want to accomplish while you are gone that it becomes more of a stress and somewhat overwhelming and then you only get a portion of it done before you have to be back? yeah, that was me today)When I got home, it was yard work and cleaning until like literally right now. I also ran to the store, again. And ran and copied the program for the church. And gave all three kids baths. And put them all to bed. And I have swept my floor twice today, Cortney swept it once too.
So am I ready for school to start you ask? YES! I am ready. Sure, I will miss going to the swim pool in a few short weeks. I will miss the summer laziness and lack of a serious schedule. I will miss some things about summer, especially the fun times with my boys...but I am SO ready to have my boys get a break from each other. And dare I say for me to get a break from them?! I am sad Kyler is growing up so fast. And Brayden too. I can't believe I have a child old enough to be in school all day. But as of this very moment, I just can't take it anymore! not one more negative fighting whining voice. Yay for school to start! YAY!! One more week...I can do this!!
Motherhood is a blessing. I have really been trying to focus on the cuteness of the cunningness of my Brayden. Did you get that? Brayden is cunning. He is brutal. Seriously, like he's NAUGHTY! And I have been trying to look at things in terms of how smart he is to actually come up with such a devious plan to do something so naughty. And he still gets punished, I am just trying not to be so negative. I don't want to be the mean mom all the time.
And one day I will miss all this. One day I will only dream and wish and hope for my kids not to be going to school. One day I won't want summer to end. But that day is not today.
So I am going to bed. I am saying my prayers. I am thanking Heavenly Father for my beautiful children and counting my blessings (and definetly throwing in a couple "help me have the strength to get through this week kind of deals). But then I am going to go to bed. And sleep my troubles away. And start off the new day tomorrow.
I have to make it through one more week!! Wish me luck.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Oy. Just, oy. Been there, for different reasons, but soooooo,...been there. Sorry lady.

Debra said...

I'm just glad to hear that you are normal! Not every friend I know would be so honest about these frustrations, and I know I'll have some myself when I'm a mom. Hang in there!

the tim gailey home said...

well, that day is past and good ridiance! what a horrible terrible day! good thing tomorrow always brings hope for a better day!